Events in our lives can often change us in ways we never expect. In my case I certainly felt different as a young boy. I possessed very real, mysterious, unexplainable, emotions that I can describe only as feminine needs, in spite of being athletic and quite normal in appearance. These internal feline longings and desires were intense and drew me to all kinds of feminine things.I knew that I loved to feel like and even look like a girl. In my youth I would secretly dress up like one though my family was mostly unaware of my secret. These were emotions that it seemed like I needed to hide and keep repressed. When I got older I knew that I wanted to find the freedom to discover what this all meant. I was very aware that my feminine side was a driving force in my heart. I’d secretly collected a large cache of feminine clothes knowing in my mind that my desires would somehow become more extreme.I felt deeply that I needed to seek out the why in why I felt compelled to do this. I enjoyed all these feelings so much. I wanted to see if I could enjoy this delightful side of myself in a manner that was less clandestine. With little knowledge, I would soon seek to learn about these wants and desires without any particular plan or road map. I guessed that I should allow my instincts and my desires to guide my future explorations. Perhaps I could dress up as a female and allow my natural and even intense curiosity to take me where it would all go. I was certainly inexperienced and naïve.Because I practiced cross dressed secretively throughout my youth, by age seventeen I had already become a very convincingly believable girl when I chose to transform myself into a female. I had spent hundreds of hours clandestinely experimenting with make-up. I was growing out my longish, full, blonde hair. I kept myself almost wispy thin at one hundred thirty pounds and my short stature at five feet five inches tall helped what I hoped could lead to my eventual believability as Cari, my feminine persona!As my first year of college approached, my ever growing secret collection of sexy alluring dresses, high heels and accessories were my pride and joy. The question was whether I had the courage to become my feminine alter ego and to do so as I had fantasized, in public! I knew deep down in my soul that it was only a matter of time and opportunity. I suspected I had the both desire and the will to find the resources to make this fantasy a reality.In August, prior to my freshman year in college, I moved into a quiet, reasonably priced one bedroom apartment in Boston for college. My family supported this because I worked a part time job – making me able to cover the rent. Even more purposefully, my true reason for getting the apartment wasn’t so much as for college as it was so I could explore my confusing yet excitingly motivating feminine side.After but two full days of all out experimentation dressing up in my new place, I soon found myself shaving my body all over. The feeling of the hairless perfection of my lithe sexy body was euphoric and sensual beyond belief. Now I knew that I would be able to explore the world daringly dressed fully as a “girl” in public.I would soon begin to discover things that I never could have imagined. The world of crossdressing was so new. The idea of multiple sexualities and the concept of transgender was amazingly complicated and yet it was all very fascinating to me. I needed to see what it would be like to be Cari the female side of myself in public!What I was about to learn about myself would be well beyond anything I could have ever envisioned, even in my wildest and craziest of dreams. I was so enamored isvecbahis with my girl side. I felt more than able to pass as a girl – at least at night. Now it would be about courage and having the common sense to do this safely.I was in my own personal heaven with my new independence and privacy. I had a reliable used car and easy access to downtown Boston. I was now suddenly free to be all of whomever I was. When I moved in, I realized just how much of an accumulated cache of female clothes that I had kept hidden back home. All these female garments almost equaled my male clothing in amount! Thankfully my new apartment had two closets. Perfect for the guy going to school and for the girl who hoped to go out in public on weekend nights!By mid-August I had already twice daringly visited a rather notorious alternative bar in Boston as my femme self. I was even learning to drive with my high heels on in my car. I knew I would soon visit this scary but transgender accepting place again. In doing so I so wanted to be as pretty and as believably feminine as I could make myself up to be. I always hoped more than anything that I could even look beautiful as a girl.Beauty and extreme femininity was always my ultimate goal for my look and my appearance. My curiosity and intense interest in all things female had given me both a good eye and an already mature skill set in make-up, hair, dresses, heels and more! Thankfully I am blessed with an almost perfectly feminine body with just some subtle muscular hints due to having actively participated in athletics in High School.Now that I had successfully dieted myself down to a slim and trim one hundred twenty seven pounds I looked marvelous in my mirror! At five foot five inches of height, I had the right size and many basic physical traits that could enable me to become a passable and perhaps real looking gal.My new second part time job – was at a wig and women’s clothing store in Boston. This store helped give me everything I needed to become the femme fatale that I hoped to be on the weekends. I practiced make-up in my quiet times at home in my apartment and loved doing cleaning and housework dressed as my pretty, feminine alter ego Cari.My excitement gushed as now that I was on my own I could fully shave my entire body into pure smoothness and feline perfection. The feeling and sensation is indescribably erotic to me. One of my co-workers at the wig shop was also a transvestite. Stephanie was her name and she soon became an awesome and valued friend. She became my connection to the night time transgender world and to what I felt was almost an affliction for me!Steph also told me about corset training, an effective way to narrow my waist. On her advice, I bought a strong, waist cinching boned corset from the store and immediately began wearing it. It had strong draw strings which I would pull and tie firmly to narrow my waist. I slept in this tight corset at night, and wore it as tightly as I could whenever I was home.This practice worked effectively and in short time brought my waist down to a teensy almost wasp like twenty seven inches! I must admit that even when wearing the tightest of little dresses, my petite body now had a very convincingly girlish and even delicate shape. Remarkably when I practiced walking in high heels and a dress I appeared – at least to myself – to be almost one hundred percent female. At least I was smitten with her! I was definitely in love with my reflection and my feminine self!There is a huge learning curve in make-up artistry, hair, wigs and feminine illusion. My knowledgeable friend Stephanie became my consultant and mentor. She skillfully isveçbahis giriş made me up one Friday night at my apartment. We were both stunned when I added blonde hair extensions to my already longish blondish hair.The reflection of myself in the mirror shocked me so much that I saw a very real young women in front of me! My artistically created feminine face and decidedly female appearance had me beside myself in excitement, disbelief, and even lust! I was genuinely pretty and when my friend Stephanie kindly said that I was actually not just believable – but beautiful, I wanted to believe her!Stephanie was also very smart Gal. She understood the transgender scene well and intimated that there was a lot more for me to learn about what she called feminine life. She always kept telling me with a tone that sounded like a warning – that I was attractive to a fault. I never knew quite what her expression really involved. I would however come to understand a lot more about she meant a few months later!Soon I began practicing and experimenting with my new make-up skills regularly, taking advantage of my spare time in late summer before my classes started. In late August I again returned to the alternative lifestyles bar where there were many transvestites, transgender gals, gay folks and straight people. In a teensy tight fitting dress, believable make up, and long blonde tresses, I always seemed to catch the attentions of many of the men in the bar.I expected acceptance but I was shocked and frustrated that I now found myself being too often being literally ogled by some of the men there. This was not in any way what I had expected. I was learning the hard way. I just wanted to be out as me – Cari – and to be able to enjoy the female side of myself while in a sexy, alluring dress!Soon Stephanie would become my wing woman there. The friendly and helpful bartender Johnny was also a huge help. Being new and naïve, I needed all the defenses I could get! Johnny would look out for me by warning me about the specific crazy and treacherous folks who attended this Star Wars like bar! This bar was notorious for almost every bad, dangerous and crazy practice imaginable. There were drugs and prostitutes of every kind imaginable, but at least I was accepted as a Trans girl there!Fortunately with Stephanie’s help, I was also gaining confidence in my female appearance and fem persona. I was not attracted to the guys and I only occasionally talked with any of them. I was so often aghast and repulsed by how hard they came on to me and in such sexually forward and even rude ways that the girls were my safe haven. I truly sympathized with the plight of what a pretty, sexy woman has to go through!Stephanie said my overtly sexy appearance was definitely made me look like – a high priced call girl! When you go out to a bar his one – like I always did in short, tight, skin exposed dresses, five inch high heels and sensual perfume, I should have known better! It showed how truly naïve I was – and in so many different ways.I did love my extremely feminine call girlish appearance though. The teensy dresses, five-inch heels and bright red lipstick did make a rather stunning impression! Ironically I didn’t crave male attention in any way. I did like being noticed though. More than anything, I just loved looking sexy and feeling very, very female. I tried to ignore and even prevent the men’s shameless forwardness toward me yet the attentions at least made me feel attractive and wanted.In September on the weekends, once college classes started, I’d visit the bar every Friday and Saturday night. My weekends as a woman were rather quite exciting isveçbahis yeni giriş to me in spite of the difficulty of avoiding the often overtly aggressive men. In spite, I felt incredibly feline and even erotic while sensual dressed as Cari. I was growing more comfortable in my high heels and teensy dresses!I gradually began talking to a few guys who Stephanie and Johnny the bartender said were safe to talk to. I enjoyed the girls the most – even though a couple of them flatteringly came on to me! I was not in any way interested in sex. I felt strongly that I was a heterosexual crossdresser making me rather unusual for a very uncommon place!One guy named Jack always came over to talk to me. He was older and smooth talking. He kindly bought me drinks, often all night long! Girls do love having drinks bought for them! On a subsequent Friday night – after much begging on his part, Jack convinced me to dance with him. I must admit fast dancing in a tight, body hugging, teensy skin revealing spaghetti strapped mini dress was perhaps too daring – But I did, however, feel very erotic and even hot in doing so!Later that evening I even played pool with Jack. I so was beginning to feel like one of the girls here now. I’d seen some very sexy asses leaned over the edges of this pool table and now I was doing so. I think on one shot when I leaned over the table – my panties may have shown a bit. I did hear a leering whistle. I did enjoy interacting in a manner that a woman would. Unfortunately, I was far more of an unintentional and naughty seductress than I was even aware of.Ironically in spite of my friend Stephanie’s hints, I didn’t fully understand what my appearance clearly said to the men in the bar! My new friend Jack did tell me that I was hot! He told me my ass was incredibly sexy and that I was the most beautiful girl in the bar. I took it all in as the usual flirting male flattery. I did enjoy hearing his compliments and his apparent adoration of me brought me what I would call a comforting satisfaction.Jack met me the next night at the bar and once again generously bought me drink after drink. He easily persuaded me to dance again. I was now finding myself comfortable enough to enjoy a man’s company for the first time in my life. I rationalized that being a girl and having male company was rather normal in the world and especially in a bar like this.Jack was also quite safe in my mind. Stephanie and Johnny both agreed. Each had told me that he was a good guy. Jack was twice my size, twice my age, and was also married. Jack was old enough to be my father and was the perfect person for a gal like me, to hang out, talk, dance and sip a few drinks with!Late, just before closing, I was feeling tipsy and even quite happy with myself. Jack was his witty, funny and his quite likable self. Once again he asked me to dance and this time I whole-heartedly agreed. We began dancing when suddenly there was a change in the music. I had never heard a slow love song like this playing at this wild and crazy night club.In seconds I was being drawn up against Jack by his powerful hands, in a slow and intimate dance! Before I knew it I was being held closely and gently cuddled by this man. In the past I would have immediately pushed any guy away. – I once even slapped a grossly inappropriate guy in the face! – Now though, I was neither repulsed nor being reactionary. He was married and this was as innocent as innocent could be!I felt his warmth against me and I felt a sense of mysterious calmness. To my great surprise, I was comfortable and relaxed in his gentle embrace. Jack’s strong hand was on the lower arch of my back and I was aware that his touch, combined with the thin stretch fabric at my waist almost made me feel naked. His other hand was firmly holding me at the bottom of my derriere and gently touching my stocking beneath my teensy short dress.