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We sat around the beach campfire, enjoying the cool evening as the blaze warmed us. The ten of us, five male/female couples, had gotten tired of trying to sing songs as nobody could play guitar all that well. Three or four different people told Ghost stories, Bob even told the “Dangerous killer with a hook for a hand” story, complete with plastic hook prop. I figured it was my turn to tell a tale.“Alright, alright, alright,” I began.“Shut up, You ain’t no McConaughey!”“Bob, that’s your first strike. Don’t make me make you regret you ever met me.”“I already do, good God.”I threw a withering glare at him, finished my beer, and began again.“You know. Heroes don’t always just hang around, waiting to do hero stuff. Sometimes, they are forged in the crucible. A villain appears, the people scream and wonder what to do, and suddenly, as if from nowhere, an unlikely hero arises. So it is with tonight’s hero. The most unlikeliest of heroes you will ever meet. The strangest tale ever told. How a hero became legend, and the legend became myth, and how he may, just may, be needed again in these strange times.“And so I present to you, the Legend of Buster Gonad. It all started over three hundred years ago, in a small town not too far from here…”It was late afternoon in a dreary looking town. Something caught Mary Marston’s eye as she helped her father chop wood.“Oh Father. Looketh over yonder. A poor soul seemeth to wandereth towards our quaint town… eth.”“Knock that shit off,” Bob yelled. “Talk like a regular person!”“Okay, but that’s strike two, Bob.” I started again.Mary called to her father. “Hey Pop. Look at this idiot coming up the road. What the fuck is he doing in this shithole of a town?”I looked at Bob. He nodded his approval.“I dunno, Mary. That wheelbarrow looks pretty heavy, I can hear it squeaking from here. What’s he got in there? A deer?”They dropped their tools and wandered over to the man.“Hi Folks!” the man called out, very friendly-like.Mary looked at the contents of the wheelbarrow. Two large mounds piled high and spilled over the sides of the wheelbarrow somewhat. Some large, sparse hairs stuck out of it.“Whatcha got there, mister? Is it a skinned deer? Or, is it two deers? You didn’t do a very good job of skinning it.” She picked up a stick and poked the… contents.“Hey now! I’ll thank you not to poke those, please. Uh, You guys got a town hall or something? I need to talk to everyone. And I’ll explain everything.”Jim Marston led the stranger and his wheelbarrow to the center of town, about a half mile down the bonus veren siteler road.“We ain’t got a town hall,” Jim explained with a sad face as they arrived at a small building. “We ain’t even got a church. All we got is The Piss and Whistle. People should be here shortly as it’s almost sundown. We like to partake of a barley pop or two before supper.”The barkeep, Magda Hoople, a stout woman of indeterminate age, allowed them early entrance. There was a bit of concern and then a struggle as the Marstons wondered why the stranger wouldn’t just leave the wheelbarrow outside. They helped lift the barrow and its contents over the threshold and into the tavern. The Stranger took a seat at the oaken bar.True to Jim’s word, the tavern filled quickly as news of a stranger in town piqued everyone’s curiosity. A perfectly even twenty-six men and twenty-six women crowded into the Piss and Whistle, really just a barn that could hold about twenty people comfortably.Jim introduced the man to the crowd.“This is a stranger, he says he wants to talk to all of us. Alright, Stranger. We’re listening. Start talkin’. And no funny business. The last guy who tried to be cute with us left town with no clothes on, riding a rail after we turd and feathered him.”“Uh,” the Stranger began. “Don’t you mean ‘tarred’ and feathered?”“Do we look rich enough to keep ‘tar’ laying around? No, we turded him.” The townsfolk nodded in agreement.“Well, alright then. My name is Buster Gonad. And these here, these boys in the wheelbarrow, they are my testicles.”The crowd looked at each other in amazement and disgust.Jim looked on with distrust. “These are two dead skinned deers. Look, if I hit them–”And he did. He slapped a testicle hard.Buster shrieked like a little girl and fell partially over backwards. Only partially because he couldn’t stray too far from his balls in the wheelbarrow. His face blanched, and the men recognized the look. Yep, they agreed, em r testicles.Arnold the Austrian pronounced, “Eet’s probably a toomah!”“It’s not a toomah! I mean, It’s not a tumor. These are my balls, they’ve been growing ever since my dream.”All the men covered their wives’ eyes as they realized how disgusting this was. Marla Hoople found a large blanket and began to cover the horrible sight.“No, please,” insisted Buster. “Blankets make them too hot. Ball sweat, you know. Nobody likes that.” The townsfolk murmured their agreement.“They are unfeasibly large, Buster. What’s this dream you had, why are you here, and what about your dick? Is bedava bahis it big, too? Where is it?” Jim stood with his hands on his hips, demanding answers..A terrible shriek pierced everyone’s ears, followed by a large “whoosh… whoosh… whoosh”. The people poured out onto the dirt road and looked overhead. A large shape, barely discernible in the darkness, flew overhead.“What is that!” the townsfolk cried.“It’s Charlinda,” answered Buster as he struggled out the door with his bollocks. “She was in my dream. Every 309 years she appears after an eighteen year cycle of infertility. Nobody here has been pregnant in a king’s age, right?”“Yeah, all the kids have grown up but nobody has had any new ones,” Martha complained.Charlinda swooped low over the street. Her large wings whooshed as she flapped them. Her throat glowed as she drew in a huge breath, and then she exhaled an enormous ball of fire which struck a small barn, demolishing it in a great ball of fire.Jerry Lee, a lanky fellow who married his cousin, Louise, shouted out, “Goodness gracious! Great balls of… That was my small barn!”The glow from the fire showed Charlinda for what she was, a Class Five Dragon. Her armored scales shone brightly, and no scales were conveniently missing. They all turned and looked to Buster.“What do we do? What does she want? Can we kill it?”“You can’t kill her. She must be fucked and impregnated with at least ten gallons of sperm. That’s what my dream said. Well, Testiclees The Great told me that. Then he threw a lightning bolt at me and I woke up with a hard on. Every time I whack off, my cock and balls get bigger. And that’s pretty awesome, except…” Buster’s voice trailed off.Mary lightly patted Buster’s gonads. “Ten gallons? Your balls must have that already!” Mary’s hand rested on his warm nut until Jim pulled her arm back.“No, not quite. But you see, I can’t whack off anymore. My cock has grown out of my reach. We’re doomed if I can’t whack off anymore.”Matthew Hobart stepped forward. “I’ve invented this thing I call a ‘scale.’ It accurately measures the weight of things. Let’s weigh his balls and figure out how close we are to ten gallons.”Jim shook his head. “Weight doesn’t measure volume, genius.”“Water weighs about eight pounds to the gallon. Ten gallons of water would weigh eighty pounds. Let’s weigh him and see where we are at.”“Oh… right. Sorry, Hobart.”After subtracting the weight of the wheel barrow, a guess thrown in for weight of skin and blood, and they arrived at seventy-five pounds.“Yeah,” stayed Buster. deneme bonus “I can just feel it, we are close but not quite enough. So, I need beer, lots of beer. And I’m going to need volunteers, lots of volunteers.”“I’ll help!” volunteered Mary. “What can I do?”Jim cried out, astonished. “Now hold on, sweetheart! No daughter of mine is going to… pull on some stranger’s pud on account of some stupid story! Back off now, Dragon Fucker!”Charlinda, currently circling the outskirts of the town, banked hard left and flew right at the gathering of townsfolk. They scurried about and dove for cover as she swooped down not six feet from the ground. Buster stood there, a proud five foot ten, and held his hand up, his fingers grazing her scales as she sailed by.“She knows I’m here. She is impatient, she doesn’t know why you people are holding me up.”Charlinda’s neck glowed red, scaring everyone. She expelled another fireball that hit a wagon, bursting it into flames.Buster tried to fall to his knees, but he couldn’t on account of, well, it’s pretty obvious why, isn’t it? Still, he begged the ladies of the town.“Please! I need your help! If we don’t do this soon she will smite all of us!”Magda Hoople stepped up, shrugging off her husband Mott. “I will help. I want more children. I’ll become fertile again if this works?”“Yes,” promised Buster. “The curse will lift after I impregnate her.”She went to Buster and he opened his pants fully, exposing himself.Magda flicked his three-inch piece of shriveled skin. “You can’t fuck a dragon with that! I don’t think you could fuck a mosquito.”Buster agreed. “I know he doesn’t look like much now. But he’s a grow-er, not a show-er. Take off your dress, you’ll see.”Magda turned and looked at the sullen faces, highlighted by the fires burning.She faced the small group of folks and pumped her fist in the air.“For the town!” she cried. She was met with a resounding silence. Shrugging, she undid the strings on her dress.Everyone knew Magda to be a large woman, but they were stunned at her size when she dropped her dress. What they had assumed to be fat was mostly her enormous breasts. Her large udders waggled as she moved and the effect was not lost on Buster.“Look!” he said, pointing to his lap. “Here he comes! He’s already twice as long. Magda, can you suck your nipple, please? I like that.”It took two hands, but she hoisted up a giant tit and licked her soft nipple. Buster’s cock grew more as she licked her nipple, salivating as it grew hard in her mouth. But she dropped it when she saw Buster’s organ.Buster guzzled the pitcher of beer Magda brought out earlier as his cock grew towards the night sky like a maypole.“It’s even more unfeasibly large than his testicles!” Mary exclaimed. She took off her dress also, mesmerized by the gigantic growing cock.